Keep It Spicy At Home

Tips on ways to keep it going during a pandemic

I am guilty of this…being so consumed in what’s going on in our present sometimes I forget about what has got me to where I am today. Am I confusing you lol? Since becoming a SAHM (stay at home mom) my mind has been occupied with online learning, maintaining the house, taking care of the dog, making sure my fiancé is good and has everything he needs through his day etc. You get what I mean right? On top of the current state of our country, from the pandemic to politics to every day survival. That’s me and probably majority of who is reading my blog. We can’t help it, it’s just what we are living and experiencing together.

But as I sat and reflected in a quiet house by myself (usually not the case) I began to remind myself how I got here. How am I able to stay home and take care of my boys. How I am able to sleep easy knowing that I have a partner that is focused and determined to take care of his family and make sure we are good. We are fortunate that we can pay our bills on time, we are blessed we are healthy. There are so many positives I have in such a dark time in our society. I was looking through photos to put on our wedding website and came across old photos that made me smile, we use to go out all the time, get dressed, have nice date nights or date days. I made it a point to stay looking good for him. It made me happy to make him happy. I wanted him to be proud to have me on his arm. I took care of my appearance (a lot more back then and not as much lately being home all the time).

With our state still being shut down because of covid we don’t go anywhere. We don’t eat out, we don’t get dressed to go to any shows, I don’t get my nails and hair done…I can go on and on but you get my point right. Being home and being in my own head has kept me from still showing him more often than not what he fell in love with. It’s not intentional, but I noticed it. And I thought about a cliché (not a fan of but getting older find myself using them more). Don’t forget to date, and don’t stop doing what you did in the beginning of dating.

With that being said I thought about a few tips I am using and wanted to share. Hopefully these will help some other mommas too.

Fix Ya Face – Not just the way you look (whether you are irritated or frustrated that day), but the appearance of it. In the beginning of staying home I completely just fell off. I wasn’t putting even foundation on! I didn’t realize until months later when I put a little makeup on, even if it’s just foundation a little blush and mascara, I feel better about myself and that in turn affects how my mood affects our interaction together. I’m not sitting around judging these online women that look all done up all the time (even if some of it is photoshopped). I am more confident, and that confidence is what was attractive in the beginning of us dating. And it reminds him what he fell in love with. It’s a win win.

Take Time To Bathe – You might be laughing at this one, but shoot, I know I am not the only momma that just gets too tired after a long day and just want to pass out and not even do anything else. Well, how about trying to not wait till the end of the night sometimes. We get exhausted when we are constantly going all day. We wake up and never stop going until everyone is getting ready for bed most of the time. So here’s a thought. When hubby is done with work, he’s home and settling down, tell him you want time to go relax in the tub. It’s not always you that has to do every single thing. Lean on your spouse, remember they are the reason you are a stay at home mom! That is, if you are a SAHM like me. And even if you aren’t its ok! Closed mouths don’t get fed, or in this case, clean haha!

Put Something On Besides Leggings – We mommas love them so much! I get it, trust me, I just want to live in leggings. But guess what, that’s not what my man fell in love with in the beginning. And just because I’m home doesn’t mean I can’t bust out an outfit to wear around in the house. Comfort is great, but I go back to thinking about what I was doing when we were dating and going out. When was I sexy to him? What will make him smile. It’s not only me that’s thinking about everything going on in our world. I am not the only one worrying about how the next month will be. Why not make him smile with something least expected. I am sure he will appreciate it, and then you will feel good and the mood is good.

Put The Phones Away – Don’t just sit on your phone all day and all night. That’s not going to benefit not only your spouse but your kids. If that’s all they see how do expect them to be different. I will never forget the moment I knew I didn’t want to be that person. Our son was young…like really young. And we were playing. Well, he was more so playing then I was with him. And he stopped and asked me to put my phone down and pay attention. Ever since that day when I realized his attentiveness to my lack of attentiveness to him, I said to myself I would do my best to not be that momma always on her phone. And that not only translates to him, but to my fiancé. He is my world, and sometimes the little gestures are the biggest even if we don’t see it. Sitting on the phone and not making time for each other can’t possibly be healthy, and won’t continue to build your connection and relationship. Whether it’s watching a show you both like, playing a board game or taking a walk. Do something together without the phones being the focus.

Bed Talk – Without going into details because I believe in respecting my house and private time, and everyone else’s, I will just say think about the beginning of when you were dating. How connected, how in sync, how crazy you drove each other. That feeling is the best feeling so why not try to keep that going? Don’t make excuses, don’t make it seem like you can’t figure it out. Figure it out! You are completely capable of it.

I hope my few tips triggered something that helps you moving forward. Us mommas sometimes need to send each other reminders. It’s not just about happy wife happy life, it’s about everyone being happy and lifting each other especially during these times.