I think a lot about how to be a better momma and spouse to my immediate family, but one thing I have not put a lot of time and effort these past few years into is how to be a better friend. It’s my honest truth that I am totally ok with acknowledging because my focus has definitely first and foremost been my family. Hands down, my boys are my everything. My family is my everything. Not one family is perfect, there are things that come up within anyone’s household and extended household and everyone handles things differently.
I am getting married to the love of my life, God has given myself and my son a wonderful man that loves, supports, encourages, protects and prays with us daily. We know how blessed we are, and we also know the next day is never guaranteed, so we live with that in mind. We appreciate each other, we take time out for each other and we grow together. It’s nothing less of amazing for me. With growth and evolvement comes sacrifice. I have sacrificed my friendships while focusing on building the closeness of my family. I am acknowledging that I didn’t do better to be a friend because I was going through my own experiences and growth. I think getting older has made me more aware of myself first and not others. I believe I am able to be ok with acknowledging things and situations or views that not everyone will agree with, but it’s not for everyone, it’s for me.
I am blessed to have a small circle of friends that have been good with me going through my journey, not judging me or frowning down on me for focusing more on my family, being more private with my relationship that I respect and cherish, didn’t give me a side eye as I grew into the woman I am proud to be now, as well as a mother that moves in ways her son is and will be proud of. They love me unconditionally, and I love them. There are no negative vibes and energy, there is no questioning on how I navigate through my life, because it’s just that…mine. We speak when we can, we understand life happens and we are all ok with that.
In reflecting in that thought, I was thinking of ways I can be a better friend to my friends. Not only for me but for them. Just as I was growing into who I am today, as I was going through my transition to being a stay-at-home mom, preparing myself to be a wife and support for my family, I am not the only one going through something or experiencing life. My friends are too. And I want to check in with them and make sure they are good. I want to let them know I am thinking of them. You never know what someone is going through, as I know for going through my own personal matters. So, here are a few simple tips I have for being a better friend and wanted to share with some mommas that might have their own thoughts that resonate after reading them.
- Keep It Sweet & Simple. If you found yourself consumed in your own world, trying to keep up with the various schedules and entertainment events with your family, don’t feel bad about it, just reach out to a friend and say hi. Let them know you were thinking of them. I have a friend I will send or get a “Happy Friday” text from randomly and it’s just our sweet and simple way of communicating and letting each other know we still think of them.
- Show Compassion. We don’t always know what a friend is going through. I will say personally I had some medical stuff that I was terrified about and I chose not to share it with anyone but my fiancé. I completely shut down, and that was my own personal preference. Everyone handles things differently and sometimes we don’t keep that in mind. So, if there has been some gap in between your communication just be mindful and show compassion to your friends.
- Pen It In. I am a super planner. I need to have a visual of my day, my week and month. I literally have a big ass planner I carry around in my purse. I pen things in, when I have to reschedule, I white it out because I don’t want to see my calendar a mess. This may not work for everyone, but it works for me. So, when I want to catch up with a friend, I will plan it out. I think this is a great way to try and reconnect with someone you haven’t seen in a while.
- Common Interest Link Up. Maybe it’s sharing a cup of coffee together on a weekend before running errands, or linking up at the local mall to catch some sales. You and your friends are friends for a reason, right? So… why not find that common thing and make time for each other around it! Genius I think even though I haven’t done it yet…yes guilty! But I truly believe this could be a simple and easy way to get together and have fun at the same time!