The Expressive Mom

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Stop Looking Back Already!!!
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Stop Looking Back Already!!!

black woman in casual t shirt against white wall

Stop Looking Back Already!!!

Sometimes we make things worse than we need to. We are all guilty of it, but it’s how we handle it and how we move forward from it. Something happened and it made me stop and think…why do we continue to torture ourselves when we don’t need to? Confused on where I’m going with this? Ok…let me give you an example.

If your toddler was constantly throwing things, and you were constantly explaining to them why throwing things was wrong, and they finally got to a point of not throwing things anymore…would you continue to bring up when they use to do it? Probably not right? You would most likely at that point be praising their good behavior instead. Why do you think that’s harder for us to do with other adults?

As adults we tend to be harder on each other, stress each other out more, only to question and complain about it. We waste more energy than we truly need to. If a friend, spouse or whoever had a bad habit, a trait or a characteristic about them that you didn’t like and they began to work on it and feel as if they are changing for the better, do you think you are more likely to applaud their growth or continue to remind them of the negative thing they would rather move past?

I feel like us as humans are more likely to focus at times on the negative than positive. I can personally say that I have done some self improvements, self change, self growth, only to feel at one time or another that the negative weighed heavier than the growth. That the not so pretty outshined the change I was once proud of that I ended up not being so proud of because I felt I guess it didn’t matter to others. And it shouldn’t, especially if I know how far I came and what I was able to accomplish, but in moments sometimes you want the ones you love the most to help you feel proud of that and not something you weren’t. You want them to acknowledge your growth too, not bring up what you don’t do or don’t see yourself as anymore.

Everyone is capable of growing, evolving and being a better version of themselves, for them, for their families. But we will continue to face challenges when others want to constantly point out our past flaws, mistakes and mishaps we so desperately want to move on from. Other’s never want to get their flaws and past ways pointed out, but they are quick to point out other’s and that’s just not cool. It’s not nice, it doesn’t help the ones wanting to be better. But it’s a reality for so many. Be kind to others is a phrase we might have said or heard, but how much do we really do it when it’s needed the most?

This isn’t my typical “momma” driven message but I felt compelled to touch on this because us mommas are affected by these ways and habits often and we might not say anything about it. Maybe a momma use to nag a little too much and she began to realize that it wasn’t helping her family, but hurting them so she began changing that about herself but didn’t receive any recognition for it? What about the momma that was drinking too much because she was depressed and felt crappy about herself, then had a moment of self reflection and started adjusting for the better, but her family only talked about her negative past moments. How does that make mommas feel on a day to day? So, it may be a general post, but I know so many mommas can relate.

At the end of the day us mommas have not only our families that depend on us, but ourselves. And even if someone around us continues to point out things we want to move past, we must know we have the ability to be the bigger person and let it go and not get to our spirits.

  • AC
    Posted at 15:51h, 21 March Reply

    Great post and reminder to relent how far we e come. It never dwell on the past! Also reminds us to celebrate our accomplishments no matter how small even if no one else acknowledges them!

    • AC
      Posted at 15:54h, 21 March Reply

      Sorry for typos. Should have said: remember how far we’ve come but never dwell on the past…

      • The Expressive Mom
        Posted at 11:23h, 27 March

        No worries on the typo! I appreciate the comment, thank you for reading it!!!

  • Olivia
    Posted at 15:53h, 21 March Reply

    Thank you for sharing!

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